Quote:
Originally Posted by LuckyMom
On one hand I think it would better to do the surgery now, ..... but part of me wonders "what if"...... what if during development something happened that made him actually more female, ....... which of course we cannot tell at 3 months old.
I don't want him to hate me when he grows up. We have a very solid family and he has two older brothers who adore him.
|
Those are your own words lucky mom. In your heart you well know, that it is
impossible at this time to predict what is best for "your" child. It is clear also that 'you want' a boy, and so you are torn between common sense, regarding your child's best interest, and your own desires. It is clearly just that very thing.
You said that 'you don't want' him to hate you when he grows up. Worse than 'your loss', of the child's love for 'you', is the child never growing up at all though isn't it? Or worse still, imagine the child 'getting older' and older, yet never 'growing up' emotionally. So what if "he" loves you, yet the ever ageing dysfunctional boy, remains forever but a mere child?
The child, forever your dependent little boy,
may never even be able to really love even you yourself. Imagine your "special little boy", helpless in the real world and emotionally dependent upon you, unfulfilled and unable to connect with 'anyone' but you. Such is an unconscious fantasy, common especially to new mothers, and it is one which we must resist by growing up ourselves. Are you sure that is not unconsciously what you actually want? Would you please just get a puppy instead?
You already have two sons. Why not allow your intersex child, to be uniquely, the person he or she was intended to become? You already have two sons.