[JOS]

They put me on Premarin (i think it's called) when they had told me my 'ovaries' had to be removed because they weren't working properly. i'd been in hospital following a riding accident which meant i had to have my spleen removed and a splenectomy results in a much lowered immune system.

Anyway, no-one ever warned me what sort of side affects i might have. i used to get loads of headaches, dizzy spells and was hyper itchy on my legs, arms etc. (i always used to scratch till i bled) my skin became really sensitive and my sex drive went crazy.... bit tricky at 15. Then i found out how they made premarin from mares urine and asked if i could swap to one that didn't require animals as I'm veggie. Over-night the side affects went away, it was really weird.

i went through a bit of a depressed period and was prescribed Seroxat which i was on for about 11 months... i gained loads of weight and had a few suicide attempts, decided to come off the pills and soon felt so ill i nearly fell down-stairs... never take that stuff it's scary bad!

Anyway, I try to avoid pills at all costs now (except my oestrogen) and like P&P don't take asprin. I have occasionally had to take antibiotics due to my lack of spleen (I'm supposed to be on them permanently but I refused that option).
The funny thing was that when I got a hernia last year and the un-removed malignant tumour-containing testicle was discovered...

(everyone thought it had been removed when i was 12months old... apparently... except my mum who, when i rang her to say i was in hospital awaiting surgery 'remembered' they might not have removed it afterall oops)

....they also found out from the scans that my spleen has slowly been starting to regenerate and may even be functional now... how cool is my body, it pushed out a tumour and regrew an immune related organ... that's when I finally realized that my body is trying to survive whether I want to or not!!!

Since the latest op my sex drive has dropped right down.... perhaps I'm not so insensitive to androgens after all?... or maybe a lot has happened to knock my confidence... even one year on I'm still pretty numb physically and mentally.