newbie

[short311fan]

hello, umm..... don't even know what to say, except that i'm a newbie to the site, and i hope that this place can give me some insight into whatever the heck is going on inside my body, still waiting for the doc to come back with a complete diagnosis, but what we do know is that my hormone levels are waaaaaaay out of whack, i will never get my wife pregnant, and my parents hid a whole lot from me growing up apparently. thankfully, there's a site like this one out here, lets me know i'm not alone and that maybe i'm not so weird after all

. o O (well, that was harder to write than i thought! lol!)

[Priestess]

Hello short311fan

Yes, those first few posts can be awefully hard to write. But hopefully you'll be able to find out what your diagnosis is and things won't get any harder to talk about once you find out.

Oh, I hope this isn't nosey, but what would you like us to call you?

[short311fan]

i'm hoping that by findng this site, it gets easier to talk about, since i'm still in a state of perpetual shock after my last doctor visit..... as far as what to call me..... i could be a smart-allec here, but i will resist, lol, just call me brad thanks!

[Priestess]

Originally Posted by short311fan

i'm hoping that by findng this site, it gets easier to talk about, since i'm still in a state of perpetual shock after my last doctor visit..... as far as what to call me..... i could be a smart-allec here, but i will resist, lol, just call me brad thanks!

Hi Brad,
You can only be shocked once by all of this, and you sound likely to survive the new information. I think also you'll find that many of the people here know an aweful lot about hormone levels, so if you aren't completely satisfied with your doctor's opinion we may be able to give you another perspective.

[Kailana]

Yes Priestess(Melissa) has a good point. Many of us have some terrible experiences with lab reports and Doctors.

With all the years wonder why one things says this or why that says that, well many of us have a database of knowledge about how well unnormal hormone levels can be.

Should you feel up too it. Many of us could help you understand what everythign means. Most doctors kinda seem to brush over whats normal or not normal. or theytell you everything is fine, but whne you actually look and start comparing things. you find out that wel your levels dont fit at all.

If nothing else we can help you understand what is going on. Also offer some questions you should be asking your doctor too.

I remember quite well not knowing what to say/ask when i found out just how abnormal my hormone levels are.
Thanks for stoppping by and please come on back, your more then welcome here.

[short311fan]

wow..... it's so good to find people who know what you're going through..... it's just a little scary..... so used to feeling so alone on all of this, it's nice to finally have a chance to talk to other people..... don't even know what questions to ask! lol! anyways, thanks for the warm welcome!

[Priestess]

Well, whenever you feel comfortable with talking about the particulars, I'm sure everyone will be happy to help you think of answers and questions New friends are always welcome

[Andre]

Brad,

I know it can be hard to express something when one is in shock. How does one go about explaining something that you yourself don't understand.

You could start with what the Doctor told you, the tests that were done and the findings. Those are facts, easier to mention.

What can be hard is how you feel about it. Take one at a time, as Priestess mentioned, when you are ready. Perhaps you can also start with a private message to whomever you please, maybe a one on one would be easier.

[short311fan]

ok, here goes..... when i was younger, i always had issues with shyness and insecurity, i could never help just feeling that maybe i was "different" (always kinda felt more feminine than masculine, but wrote it off as my older brothers having the masculine side of things covered, lol), though i was always a very intelligent kid, always did well on IQ tests and such, and actually almost got to skip a grade (yep, i'm a geek, lol)..... i didn't look like any of the other boys, i had longer legs and arms, and once i became a teenager, i started develpoing a "chest" and my hips widened somewhat..... also, when i was very young, i wore corrective braces on my calves because i had "abnormally shaped ankles", don't know if that matters or not, but once i became a teenager, other fun things began happening, like when i was 14 and my right knee swelled up one morning out of the blue so it looked like i had a grapefruit tucked uner the skin..... not pleasant..... around this time i also started having occasional bouts of depression, which i saw a therapist for..... well, the bone specialist i saw had some blood tests ran, but all i was told was "eh, you'll be alright, nothing to worry about", while my mom got a nice 30 minute closed-door consultation with the doc..... as far as i knew, it was mild tendonitis (it's never fully gone away, thy still swell now and then along with my ankles, and i've developed one heckuva case of carpal tunnel in my left wrist and hand, as i sit here, it's completely numb), so i wrote that off and moved on..... then i started noticing, the other teens were all starting to shave, they were "maturing" and their voices were deepening, while i seemed to be stuck at roughly age 12 (i still get pulled over for drivers' license checks cuz i look 15 at age 30, lol), no facial hair, almost no body or pubic hair, my voice never changed, nothing..... while this saves me greatly in buying razor blades, it's still mildly disconcerting, to this day i can barely grow a goatee..... i also had a hard time building any sort of muscles in my upper body, and since i wanted to play football like my best friend and older brothers, that was depressing, since in sports you have to have good upper-body strength, though my legs have always been very strong..... but, i wrote all of that off too, thinking maybe i was one of the "late bloomers", and moved on, kinda thinking in the back of my head there was something wrong, but learning easily to ignore it..... this went on until i got married and my wife and i decided to have a child (she already had one from a previous relationship, whom i'm adopting, but we both want more)..... we tried and tried, for 2 years, and nothing, nada, zip..... finally, i went and saw my family practitioner, who, after a sperm count, told me "there's nothing wrong, you're just infertile, sorry, there's nothing more i can do", and at that time, where i lived at, there weren't many alternatives for second opinions (i also had crappy insurance), so, even though i wasn't satisfied with those results, i lived with it..... finally, somewhere i came across an article about testicular cancer, and it mentioned KF and some of the symptoms, and i thought "ok, why does this sound like they're describing me?"..... so i've finally found a doc that's willing to run the proper tests and give me an honest diagnosis, now i'm just getting up the nerve to go in and have the tests ran, i'm scared to death of what they're going to find, and the fallout with all my friends, my family, and especially my wife.....

in short, i suppose i'm just looking for some clarity in all this, some sort of light at the end of what's seeming to be a very long tunnel..... i don't know if i'm just over-reacting to myself, if i'm just nuts, or if my concerns are legitimate..... but there's too many coincidences for my taste..... any thoughts?