A Desperate cry for help

[GottaBeMe]

Hello,

I am a longtime on again, off again visitor to this site. I have 17hydroxy CAH, and a few other medical problems (chemical diabetic, etc).

At the beginning of last year, I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, as well as anorexia. During that timeframe, I simply stopped eating.. I had managed to get my weight down (with a combination of a 900 calorie diet and tons of exercise) down 219lbs. Unfortunately, the combination of life, the diet, everything, I ended up in the hospital with an emotional breakdown/suicide attempt. Part of the treatment regimen I undertook was to increase my caloric intake, and not weighing myself...

Fast forward a year.. In that time, I have maintained a fairly consistent 1200 calorie diet (overeating as I call it). My last endrochonologist appointment showed that my weight is 300lbs. My endrochonologist suggested that I was overeating, and I agreed.. (to me, 1200 calories is overeating). Doctor suggested that I am slipping into binge eating.. I should cut back, don't eat so much comfort foods, and exercise more.

Anyway, a recent therepist trip informed me that I am in fact, NOT overeating, and I would have to maintain a 4000 calorie a day diet to weigh what I currently weigh. My therepist instructed me to maintain a diet log, with what I eat and my weight throughout the day. I did this for 2 weeks.. My intake was consistantly around 950-1200 calories (any lower and I get fainting spells). I faxed over the documents to my doctor, who then immediately instructed me to eat more. She also warned me that she thinks I am anorexic again. So.. at her request, I began eating more.. (around 1400 calories). Of course, my weight shot up almost 15 lbs within days..

I have been trying to call and call. I never get any return call. She tells me thru her nurse, that I need to see the therepist and eat more.. She is unconcerned with my current weight, and the increases.

At this point.. from yesterday 11am, to a few minutes ago, my weight has increased by 8lbs. Yesterday, I ate 2 turkey burgers, brown dry pasta, eggs, and turkey bacon. I also had vegetarian lasagna. Normally I wouldn't eat so much, but I was within my calorie intake for the day. My normal intake for a given weekday is: 1/3 cup dry slimfast optima + 1/3 cup dry milk + water, lean cuisine, and 2 turkey burgers with wheat pasta. (I have very little variety in what I eat).

I am afraid for my life. I have extreme difficulty breathing, moving and everything. I am to the point that I can no longer exercise even. I just saw a new endo and she is very frightened about my condition. She ordered round of tests but will not have results until 6-8 weeks. Current doctor is NOT helping one bit.. Anybody have any thoughts as to what I can do? Today being sunday, I am going to just not eat.. I can't do that during the week, as the headaches, and fainting, and mistakes I make interfere with my work.