When do you tell?

[Peter]

Through an exchange of private messages, I have gotten to know Jon better, and get a better idea of the situation that he is in. Far from running away from the relationship, or otherwise acting badly, Jon has written of his deep love and concern for his partner. I respect Jon for contacting me privately about his concerns, and I wish Jon and Chris all the best.

Peter

[apple]

For the record, if it stands anyway, and is not later sanitized. It is a new world order after all, and a not so really brave one after all it seems.

I have been silently reading here for a long time without posting, and I finally spoke out of concern, because this place seemed to have really changed. Over several months, I saw new people posting, and I saw them being ignored. I also thought I saw, an increasing new shift of focus toward gender identity issues as the predominant topic.

It also really looked to me, like all the old timers had just abandoned the place, and certainly, not in every case, some of the new posters looked to be really "creative" to me. It honestly appeared to me, that some of the status seeking, maladjusted, gender obsessed "forum warriors" crowd, who have for over a decade been having a gender fantasy tea party all over the internet, being apparently unable to settle their gender issues, had begun arriving here and trying to slowly but surely set up shop. I wasn't sure of this, but to me it looked like they were "testing the waters" and slowly becoming ever less subtle about it, because they were talking among themselves as no one here except Dana, who is an old timer, had said anything to them. If anyone else had done so I missed it, and I apologize for not noticing.

It was never about the whole silly "tans v intersex" issue for me. I have long believed that real gender dysphoria is probably rooted in biology, and I don't as "a matter of principle", or some such rubbish, presume all those who play with gender are sick or something, though many are.

It was for me just as I said earlier, ever so stupidly now as I look back, simply this. "1. It is not about gender identity. 2. It is not about gender roles within the binary. 3. It is not about unconscious presumptions of "validity" within some sort of hierarchy of status. I take issue with anybody, intersex or not, who insists upon making this place about such things, because it poisons the well, and it obscures issues of true relevance."

I wish I had not posted here at all now. I have not helped one tiny little bit, and in fact far from it. I don't need anything from anybody here. My issues of body and soul, both alike are settled, and I have a profound lack of talent for helping others, along with an amazing natural ability for messing things up, big time, in such a venue as this. I meant well. I am neither "anti-transsexual or "anti-transgender". Yes I know they are not the same. I feel the entire area, lacking a better word, of intersex and trans politics and support etc., is an immensely complicated and touchy beast of a thing, and I really should remember to stay away.


Dana I don't understand why you feel you must leave. I am really and truly sorry. In no way did I ever wish to hurt you or make you feel you should leave.


Once again I am sorry to have caused trouble. I wish all of you well.


One last thing.

Stop the horrific ethnic cleansing of Iraq and Palestine before it becomes world wide genocide. You are, far more likely than not, also on their list.

[jon12345]

Thank you Peter
Thank you all. Just for the record my posting here was a quest for knowledge, so that I could understand what it is, and what it meant to my SO. Peter and I exchanged PM, and I believe I got the essence of things. I do not know exactly what Chris was, and for all practical purposes, have gleemed enough to know only that it is not really important that I need to know more then I do.
With that I close and say good bye with wisdom from my favorite bumber sticker: "Nothing is perfect, not even the perfect stranger"

[Dana Gold]

Dana I don't understand why you feel you must leave.

Just so it is clearly understood to all; I am leaving (or trying to!) this and all other Internet "public" sites not because of one person or event....Apple (a beastly thing) and Peter (homophobic violence and threatening behaviour) is some of it...and my own previous rants to include trans-bashing and human weirdness and cruelty are the additional cumulative catalysts for my decision. It is so damned hard to separate the real from the unreal and sincere from the sham; that and the infighting...enough is enough....I'm an emotionally-frayed person and it has become a negative rather than a plus for me..... I whined about doing so in the past...this time it's for real....and I've asked Peter to erase my membership when it is possible to do so pending full operational capability of the broken BLO main site (thanks to the "brain squirming like a toad" prick who shot it to pieces).

DG

[Dana Gold]

For clarity’s sake and to avoid any misunderstanding and disrespect, the quote of mine from the post above requires correction:

Apple (a beastly thing) and Peter (homophobic violence and threatening behaviour) is some of it.

I should have said Apple’s reference to intersex/trans politics (beastly thing) and Peter’s mention of homophobic, possible violent, Internet predators illustrated the confusion, misunderstanding, and inherent dangers of cyber-space and both of these facts were additional factors, to the already mentioned, in my decision to terminate my participation.


Apple’s quote from this thread

intersex and trans politics and support etc., is an immensely complicated and touchy beast of a thing,

Peter’s quote from the thread, A member suggested I may have CAH:

we are dealing with possible problems that are much worse situations than the masturbation that Dana mentioned. There is the possibility of homosexual panic and violence.

Dana Gold