some one please,desperate.

[steve/lisa]

Hi,Everyone I know I only put a post up (At last)a couple of days ago but have big decision to make,And i'm scared,and have no one to talk to about it. my ex to be just laughs at me alot and then i just cry alot.then i get frustrated,lonely and cry some more,I'm beginning to think god hates me,or ??. I thought for a couple of yrs to do this,i.e.talk about this now i think i can ??maybe i'm so scared,cause i lost every friend i did talk to but two of them but ones got cancer and may die,the other is well not all their(drinks alot)and i don't drink at all.i was raised male but only have 1 ovary left everything else is been removed and i like being female shoul'da been in the first place,but mood swings,hormone flushes,and crying are getting me down to a really bad place.My v.a. doctor said he knew about my condition but he kept a seperate file for it was told last month to seek outside help soon,to correct problem,told me not! to seek help from the V.A.at all I do have 2 different types of medical insurance thats not the problem,It's should i get it opened up to drain out or removed??But I'd rather have a natural hormone than none at all.I don't wanna be an IT. again!! please some talk to me.I don't bite,It's really hard for me to write this,To open up,to speak the unspoken,my scares are really deep,anything is better than silence,cause thats where I've been for so long,just thought I'd try once and see.thank you all have a nice life.steve/lisa