Parents should better not trust their doctor?

[mohnblume]

... so Kailana, what do you want to tell here ... I might be to stupid, but didn't get it.

[Dianne]

It seemed to me that she was saying there isn't behavioral differences between young girls and young boys. That wouldn't be my experience either as a child or as an adult watching children. There may be many with "neutral" behavior but half or more of the children I have known are expressing behavior with a definite leaning by age 5.

I think the general point is that no one has a clear indication of a child's gender until the child his/her self can express it. Again this ties back to our despicable John Money.

[Kailana]

First of all i had to rewatch the documentary, i do have it recorded.

As for what i am trying to say, is that many parents often try to put gender expression into a childs behavior. Kinda like i did everything. Played house/dolls with my sisters, and i playes army with my brother. You know, i think children do really what is around them really. And as for the parents behavior and reaction with a child, its really what they try to provide the child with that can have a influence on there behavior. And yes i know many people will say that this child is behaving as a boy, well what if that is the encouragement that he is recieving from the family. What if he gets shunned or teased when he does anything girly like in behavior. im only bringing up possibilities. I am really just curious how Patrick behaves now? as a young teen.

And the documentary is titled " Gender Unknown", i kinda got that confused, and aired 2001. Sorry about the title mistake.

I just think the parents are making more out of the way patrick behaves at that age. I mean for all i Know Patrick could be one of the most macho, manly boys in the world. I just don't know, but I am very curious, thats all.

Now as for the behavior of the surgeon that took the one testes, from Patrick i am sure that is gonna cause many problems for him. I hope his parents follow through with there words on being open and honest with him. I would love to see a update on how he is doing. I am not much in favor of Dr's choosing for people there gender. And i do believe that Patrick is XY/XO. I think someone asked that in an earlier post. Now then I am far from perfect on anything i say or do. But I do wish Dr's understood all of us, all of our histories kinda say the same thing. Leave us alone, let us decide, its our bodies, what is right for the individual should be up too the individual. Guess thats all i am really saying.

[Dianne]

But I do wish Dr's understood all of us, all of our histories kinda say the same thing. Leave us alone, let us decide, its our bodies, what is right for the individual should be up too the individual. Guess thats all i am really saying.

I think we all feel that way. If anyone disagrees, I would sure like to hear why.

It is also too bad that there are no reliable statistics on what percentage of IS babies are happy with their assignment.

Assigning gender based on measuring the phalis seems as logical as assigning gender based on hair color.

[mohnblume]

Once I was reading that 30% of the operated intersexuals make suicide. To be honest, I was at that point too ...

[Dianne]

Originally Posted by mohnblume

... I was at that point too ...

As was I. It was not until I took charge of my own care that I was able to feel good about my life.

[Kailana]

ive read as well that amongst all categories of people, its the IS individual with the highest percentage of attempts, and successfull suicides, next comes transsexuals, then black males and on down the list. I do believe that the data is kinda being reported that black teenage males though are the highest candidates? for suicides. We are once again being forgotten/ not talked about. And yah i read roughly at around 30% but i wonder where this number comes from, as we all know most of us are not being followed. It makes me wonder if its just a wild guess?

[Onnineko]

....

Well I would not blame the Intersexed person that committed suicide because they couldn't live with the trauma of trying to be something they are not.

And if the statute of limitations didn't restrict my ability to sue Doctors for the trauma caused, I would certainly encourage that by all so afflicted Intersex people.

[Kailana]

And its Great to see you Onnineko.

I wouldn't blame an intersexed person either for attempting suicide, and feeling totally ashamed when they found out. I was that way as well, two suicide attempts, 5 hospitalizations and those all because of the care i got, the cruel remarks i received, the total lack of understanding i was getting from the Doctors locally. And yes i wasn't any better when they chose surgery again in 2002, at 31 years, 9 months of age without my consent. So i kinda understand just how bad some people can get treated. And just how devastating it can be trying to get more information and help understanding what everything means. Or just the daily trauma of constantly judging yourself as a man or a woman, as a true hermaphrodite, and having a very very hard time comming to some form of terms, at the time, suicide seemed the only real alternative. The constant lack of caring, the pushing of antidepressants and antipsychotic meds, only broke my will. That and the depression of well just feeling so very much alone, that no one cares, is hard enough on a person when they are stable, add in a little doubt, alot of bitterness and bad things happen. Also I really want to say that there are many people who dont understand suicide at all. They have no understanding that when a person is suicidal, all normal thought patterns about self preservation go right out the window. And I deffineately understand what that means.

Anyone, i mean everyone reading this should know that there is help, and its not always in the form of a antidepressant. Should anyone be going through, or having thoughts of suicide, please talk to someone a friend, a relative, a teacher, a coworker, anyone that you have had some bond of friendship, and yes even a psychiatrist, counsellor, social worker, or doctor can help. For anyone think that its the only solution, well, just to let you know, its not, there is help, you just need to try, push yourself a little, i mean your gonna have to push yourself alittle, and please dont feel ashamed. There are people specifically trained to help, even some not so well trained, that can help. While being IS can be quite devastating, finding out your IS can be devastating, there are plenty of us, and plenty of people who love us, and we are deffinately not the only people to have suicidal thoughts. Some time may pass before you, I, come to terms with what we are, nothing in life is easy, but it is deffinately worth trying/finding your happiness.