Need to reintroduce myself

[Babyjoe08]

3 years ago I visited this board for the first time. I was a very overwhelmed mom with more questions then my mind could manage. My Son was born with sever Hypospadias between stage 4-5. We worked with a team of doctors that tested for many things that I did not understand. In the end they said he was a boy and being that he was 46xy we should proceed with the surgeries that would fix his ambiguous genitalia. I chatted with very nice people here and took their opinion under great consideration. I with that I would have listen better. After 2 surgeries and 3 years latter we had a news flash from the genetics department. On a Monday we visited the Urologist who gave our son a high five and said all looks well. We did not need to go back for any additional visits. On Tuesday we received a letter in the mail that stated, this is an update regarding previous genetic screening for AIS. Further screening has now discovered a mutation in the (AR) gene, you son is positive for hemizygous C.T mutation at nucleotide 2664. On Wednesday we received further details, with a lot of terms I did not understand. The last line of the confusing paragraph stated Therefore, the presence of c.2664C>T is consistent with the diagnosis of AIS in this individual.

Over the last 3 year my beautiful child has developed many likings for cars, trucks, and baby dolls. He has told us, unprompted, "I want to be a girl like mommy." I get a lump in my throat thinking of how I might have caused more damage to my child by allowing the surgery. I am still very confused. : confused2. What now? Where do we go? My thought is to allow him to decide what feels right. He automatically goes to the girls cloths at the store and tells me what he likes. He also loves Spiderman. He has 2 older brothers that love him very much. I think that my heart tells me to just let my child do what feels right. I don't want him to be pushed into a decision based on what the social norm is. If he is unhappy with the surgery that was preformed, I will make sure he is able to receive whatever he needs to fit into his own skin. I kindly ask that if anyone has experienced this or something similar, please reach out to me. I feel like a bad parent for allowing this to happen, until now I did not fully understand the advise that had been given to me.