This is my first time on and I am not sure how to proceed. Much has changed in my life recently. My partner of 10 years left me (which I am still getting used to) However much good has come out of it. As a result of this I have found my older sister. We go to Buddhist temple together and I am learning to be a sister. I had corrective surgery about 11 years ago, but as a result of meeting my sister I am finding out much more about myself both physically and emotionally...some good. Some bad (such as medical problems that run in the family). I was always ashamed to talk to anyone about my medical history. When I first went to my current general practitioner I got "not much is written about people like you." How encouraging. Meeting my older sister has turned my life around. For the first time in my life I have been able to be open about my background, about being raised as a female first and then a male until I was able to take countrol of my life myself. My sister encouraged me to strike out and meet others so I would not think of myself as alone in the world with my past.
Julie

Hi Julie,

Welcome to the Bodies Like Ours community. I'm happy you have found us.

There's a bunch of wonderful people here and I am sure you will find others like yourself to talk and share with. Your story isn't much different than that of many of us---too much isolation, shame, and secrecy throughout our childhoods and life.

The good has come from your discoveries is such a wonderful thing. I'm know you will find openness, welcoming arms, and many compassionate listeners here.

Betsy

PS...If you ever have a concern about something on the bodies community, have suggestions, or want to contribute something, let me know by sending email to me. You can do it right from the message board area or by visiting our contact info page.

Hi Betsy,

It has been a bit difficult lately, which is why I am on the computer this late. My newly discovered sister is the dearest thing in my life but she cant live my life for me can she? As a result of her encouragement I have been able to "come out" twice. Once when I married another woman and again after she left me to quit hiding my past. She would always refuse to talk about it. Grandmother use to say if you cant laugh you would cry. At first I used to wonder what I must have done in my past life to deserve such a condition...however I have come to see it...in part...as a necessary step to be a sister. I used to cry about it. I am learning to laugh. She was a bit shocked at first when I referred to myself as a reformed little miss half and half. I told her I have been called MUCH worse by people. Sort of like using the term dyke to take the power out of it. She was a bit leary of a new sister that is a lesbian but we are learning more about each other every day. Thanks for the welcome.

hi julie .welcome,there are great peolpe here . and a lot to learn ....beach

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mutation is THE key to evolution {{{{xxxy}}}}undefined

Happy Birthday!

Have a great one.

Betsy

Thanks,

Actually being a whole woman and finding my sister has allowed me to discover one of the joys of womanhood I am not sure what to do about. My sister and I love each other but the problem is she has grown up with another woman next door and been friends with her all her life. My sister and I both love this woman as a sister. However, lately she has gotten very jealous, feels as iif I am trying to take my sister away from her and has quit talking to either of us. We both tell this woman we love her but she will have none of it. It seems as if she will not be happy until she succeeds in driving a wedge between us, which will never happen. So what should I do to handle the jealousy?

I hate jealousy . try send'n your sis over to talk to this freind , she should let her know that blood is blood,and as a freind she should get to know you ,talk out the feelings....if it erupts if you are freinds, you should be able to work it out..it might bring you all together!!!!beach

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mutation is THE key to evolution {{{{xxxy}}}}undefined

Actually we have already tried this with her...I arranged things so we could all go out to dinner together. We both told this friend that we lover her..she is our sister to us. For some reason that does not seem to be good enough for her. I have told her over and over that I did not come along to replace her in my sister's heart. My sister has told her this. She has told her that she loves her, I have told her that I love her. She broke off contact with us finally for the strangest of reasons. I was at a benefit for a church. I have been honest with all of the people in this group about my medical past. This took alot of courage for me and I was only able to do it due to my sister's influence. I no sooner walk into the room than the person standing next to me looks at me and shouts at the room (keeping in mind I had my nicest dress on at that point) IS THIS A MAN?! Needless to say I was not pleased. I went to the ladies room, gathered myself together and quietly left, telling a friend where I was going. Sister's friend (call her Ms. L) Later calls me and I tell her to leave it be and let it die a quiet death. She stirs up trouble anyway and ends up blaming me for taking offense to her friend who Has been a hermaphrodite for the last 150 years, wrote the gay bill of rights and is actually Gloria Steinem in disguise...okay so I exagerated but that is how the conversation went. She proceeds to psychoanalyze me on the phone and tell me the help she feels I should get to adjust to the way she wants me to behave. Between the jealousy and this thing neither of us know what to do about this dear friend we love. Why does she behave like this?

Yeah Julie, some people can be completely out to lunch when it comes to dealing with any kind of unusual condition. It sucks when that happens.

After a long bout of surgery, some no-doubt-well-meaning person from my church smiled and said how "nice it will be when you can forget about all this." Short of a severe lobotomy, I doubt that will occur...

After observing such behavior for many moons, I can only conclude that many people are so threatened by any possibility that they will have to deal with somebody "different" that they revert to the most primitive defensive behavior they can find.

Glenn