The aftermath

[Anniemac]

I was wondering if you think it would be a good idea to just never tell anyone about my condition after I have the surgery. If you think its a good idea, please tell me why. If you think its a bad idea, please tell me why.

[mohnblume]

How can we know that it is a good or bad idea .. just write what your heart feels and your head knows. We don't bite.

Looking forward to read your words ...

[Priestess]

Ernesta, I agree. We can't make the decision, but even to list possible reasons for the two alternatives, we'd need more information.

Annie, I remembered your name so I went back to read your introduction. Interesting, and please bring us up to date. Did your doctors ever decide which intersexed condition you have?

[Kailana]

its a good idea to only tell the people that you trust, or the people that you care about and then only if you feel like it. ill explain more tomorrow, Campus library is closing, summer hours kinda suck. Take care ok

[Kailana]

To Tell or not to tell, is a very difficult question. I propose telling the people you care about. Family, relatives, friends, only so that they can understand you better. i have lived for agreat many years feeling ashamed because my body is different. That i believe comes from the the secretcy? of my parents and how they have handle and treated me over the years. I have found that by speaking about me to relatives, friends, social workers, and what not i have found the support that my parents have been unable to provide. But to tell or not tell is entirely up to you. I am a great deal more open now and tend to run my mouth fairly consistently, i have a great many opportunities to speak about me, as i am transitioning, it seems that i have been placed or am considered as a transsexual locally, were as i was intersexed, true hermaphrodite, gender= male/female, XY/XO mosaic, Chimeric(at least thats what my skin says) my blood says im 46XY normal male, my Skin says im XY/XO mosaic. i question weather it would actually be more appropriate to say genetically im 46XY/XY/XO Chimeric mosaicism. i think its a good question, although this is why i tend to be considered delusional. Most of my Doctors have ignored my extra gonadal set internally, and only look at what my blood says, they tend to ignore what my skin says. So instead of yelling and screaming at them, i talk openly about there treatment of me, and inform a great many people of who not go to with problems. Thats locally though. anyways, back to you, to tell or not to tell, Maybe prospective boyfriend or girlfriend, should you want to know weather they truely can accept you for you. And love you regardless? i cant answer that for you. its up to you. For me i am open, this is how i tend to meet knew people, how i know i can trust them, its all has to do with how they treat me, respect me. Most everyone i talk to tends to like me, as a friend, i still have a great many issues with companionship though. i have a tendency to stop short of relationships, have agreat many friends, just no lovers, no flings, no one night stands. i have been celibate for well over a decade, multiple reasons for it. Perhaps i am just waiting for the right person. who knows. So all ican say is for me telling seems to be one of the places i get strength from. Also i get asked alot weather im trans, or gay, so theres many opportunities to talk about me.
Best of luck with whatever you decide.
Sincerely

[Marc]

I don't really have a response to your question but have a question of my own, if you don't mind. I had read some of your previous posts and wondered if you ever were able to get a diagnosis. You said when puberty hit you went through a female, then male development. Female muscular/skeletal development but male genitals. The only reason I ask is because I went through maybe some similarities to you. I am male, male genitals with hypospadias. But at puberty developed female muscular/skeletal development. I haven't had a definitive diagnosis that's why I wondered.

[Anniemac]

I have PAIS. (Partial Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome)

[Priestess]

Ahh.

I hope you don't mind my asking more questions, but I really don't know very much about AIS in general. From the little I've heard, "partial" can mean anything short of complete, so they tend to use "grades" of AIS for a more descriptive terminology. Trying not to be nosey despite my curiousity, are you very high up on the scale?

As you were asking about surgery etc, I recall that there are a variety of different surgical techniques available, depending on how much you need done.

Either way, I guess the answer of whether to tell people afterwards, is up to you. To tell the general public? I suppose that depends on what you'd like - whether the life of a normalish woman vs - whether you're planning to write a book, appear on talk shows, and consider yourself a genderqueer 4 ever.

Whether to tell closest friends and lovers? That's an answer that you can only find inside you, when the time comes.

[Anniemac]

First off, I'm not gender queer. Second off, I'm biologically female. (XX) Third, I AM normal, just like everone on here and off of here. I'm not abnormal no matter who says I am or not. OK now that I corrected you and felt a bit insulted, lets continue on what my body is like. OK, well I have a penis that has a partial scrotem and leads to a partial labia. (No depth, just the lips.) Furthermore, my body is identical to every other girls body in every way except the penis stuff. Genetically, how it looks in every aspect, the way it fuctions, everything. That all female. The cock gets ditched later for my pussey. I'll fix it later, but I dont think I should tell people. I dont want it to be known ever again. The uestion I guess, is moreso if you think anyone would question what my body is like and that I'm intersexed. I mean after I finish the surgery. I just want to know if there would be snything that would stand out that I should acknowledge it for. What about if they bottom out? What would be a good cover up?