I was wondering...

[Andre]

Hello,

I was wondering of how does one decide that he/she is intersex. As an xxy, I can understand that being born with an intersex condition and how our bodies work, that a person diagnosed with having extra female chrmosones can identify himself as intersex.

I was curious, however, of those who are not xxy or a varient can identify themselves as intersex. How have you come to this conclusion and what lead up to the decision of becoming intersex without the chromosonal backup ?

[Priestess]

Dear Andre,
As being someone among many here who is not xxy, I should reply because if no one answers you then all there is is silence.

I can understand how being xxy you have a choice of whether to identify yourself as intersexed. With an estimated 1 in 500 male births being xxy, probably most must never know they have it, or else don't care about the extra-x. Or else there would be a vast unstoppable army of xxy's?

But while the way you identify yourself may be a choice, I think that to "become intersexed" wasn't the exact choice you made, but rather whether you should interpet your chromosonal variation as being it. For others here, it's the same choice, but different physical conditions can kind of push in the direction of intersex being undeniable, regardless of what a dna test might appear to say.

Everyone here will have their own individual story to tell. Listening brings a touch of humanity, and many narratives have been recorded. What should I say? I lived, and perceived myself as more a eunuch than even the worst case of xxy, and didn't like it. I've bled, and known pains I never knew I should be eligable for. I've found things out about my past that stole away every assumption I'd ever made about myself or my life. I've seen medical results that should not be possible for any person of either "normal" sex, and had doctors run away from their tests even while they admit that things are all the wrong shape size and position in my poor beleagured pelvis. Wrong for either sex. Did I make a choice to become intersexed? Or was it just the only label left when no other catagory would have me? My genetics haven't had any thorough or reliable test, but does that matter when nearly every lab report shows medically bizarre or at least highly unlikely test results? These are questions I can't answer, but maybe I'll find some meaning in my life eventually. I can't even go to other forums, because I don't belong in any of the major conditions that get forums founded for them. No peer group for undefined anomalies. So maybe I'm intersexed enough to be here, that depends on who you ask. Or maybe I'm a waste of time, except for some reason I write well, and sometimes I even manage to persuade my readers.

I hope that's one answer among many.

When you get other answers, from people with CAH, or AIS, that will show you their hearts, and the meanings that make up life's grand mosaic ...

[Andre]

maybe I'll find some meaning in my life eventually.

Everyone and I mean everyone has meaning, it is just perhaps not that apparent just yet. Every living being, from the birds straight through to the whales, have meaning. Building a site where people can gather and congregate in a common goal, building a community, takes guts and courage. It is step in a direction that you and everyone else do not know of it's outcome. It can save lives,it is that important.

From a curiosity to a seemingly simple question comes a whole world of hurt and anxiety. This, my dear, is the human frailty that binds us, makes us whole. One cannot be whole from oneself, it comes from the willingness and tribulations of making a difference, then one starts to become whole and have meaning. So what if the site is calm, so what if the only people come on here are ones of curiosity, thier lives are in other forums. If you helped the one, then you have done your purpose and you then can become whole, no matter what you portray to the rest of the world.

My question still remains for others to answer.

[jenny]

According to the ISNA,
" “Intersex” is a general term used for a variety of conditions in which a person is born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male."

It's an umbrella term. If someone feels there is something different from the 'norm' going on physically or genetically, then the term fits. Someone can't decide to "become" intersex. You simply are or aren't. Some people on this site have a diagnosis from a doctor, and some are still trying to get a diagnosis, or trying to find a doctor who will deal openly and honestly with them. Some people have strange scars that they have questions about, and some people remember having surgeries as children with only vauge explanations. Some of these people may never know for sure. Everyone has a different experience. So, having said all that, I'm not sure that I actually understand your question.

[Andre]

Jenny,

You answered it. You see, I have been inadated with information of intersex and how we as xxy's are. I didn't and I don't see myself as intersex but I do have an intersex condition. I present myself as male but I think and feel both. So I have to ask myself if I am fooling myself in thinking that I am in denial or is it that I just am not intersex. A little confusing for me.

Much like (no offence intended whatsoever) being gay. Some know this from the start and some discover this after an event in thier lives. I was wondering whether this was the case with me.

So, if I get this right, you know it or you don't. Well, it being that black and white I would have to go with not.

Thanks, jenny.

[Priestess]

Andre,
Xxy is kind of an exception. I'm told that not everyone gets a full blown case of Kleinfelter's syndrome. You don't have to have always known, the only promise is fertility problems. You didn't choose to have a genetic condition, but you get to choose whether to identify yourself as intersexed.

There are other IS conditions, like women with CAH for example, who are allowed to feel completely like women. That doesn't change the medical condition, but gender reversal isn't a required part of intersex.

[Andre]

Thank you Priestess, that eases the mind a little.

I got my answers, thanks folks. I have confirmed what I believed it to be in the first place.

[Priestess]

Originally Posted by Andre

Thank you Priestess, that eases the mind a little.

I got my answers, thanks folks. I have confirmed what I believed it to be in the first place.

Aww If I wasn't able to challenge your beliefs, I'll feel like I failed. I visited the website you show in your profile, though I wasn't able to learn too much due to most of the forums being members only. It seems like most support orgs are exclusive like that. Where as I'm just an anomaly who doesn't fit any particular condition closely enough.

[Andre]

Now, now, I am sure there are plenty of things we can bantor about. I do enjoy a good exchange of beliefs, it opens my horizons a little more. If you were on the site, you would have seen that I get into many a subject.

Now about the intersex belief that I hold so dear, I hear about it so often that the subject is getting rather tedious. Why do I come here you ask ? It's for the different point of views, which I get here.

Educate me.