Hi,

I have posted on all CAH websites and mesasge boards. I have been trying to find someone that I could talk to about being with anither girl (lesbian) or have been with one. I would like to know how you handled it.

Karen

Dear Karen,

I do not have SWCAH so I do not know if I can help with the questions you have. I am a lesbian though with non-standard genitals. What kinds of questions do you have about being with a woman? You were asked about how one "handled" oneself. What do you mean? Please be more specific.

I read your posts on Danny's message board. No offense to him, but it does not surprise me that people weren't jumping all over your questions. There seems to be an adversion to using the words intersex and lesbian on that message board. That's why I don't post there.

Talk to you soon (I hope),

Victoria

Naw...ya think?



Seriously...

Karen, I agree with Victoria in that your query is vague. Have you had issues in the past? I've never really had any serious issues other than having to commit to a tedious explanation beforehand and a quick geography lesson. One thing I would do when I was single and dating would be to encourage my partner to look around and explore some!

Betsy

__________________
Until you've lost your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was or what freedom really is. --Margaret Mitchell

Karen,

Are you still there?? For me, the first time I am with a lover I sort of hold my breath and expect the worst. But the women I've been with have been really cool, for the most part. It is awkward on my part for the first couple of times. Then it is fine and I've actually found that my partners like that I am different 'down there.' Ya know, when I feel comfortable with myself is when I have the best sexual experiences; the two seem to go hand in hand.

Hope you are well and please write if you want,

Victoria

Victoria,

I would like to talk to you more if it's ok with you.. Sorry that I haven't been here lately. been using a differant name on other boards and stating a option. I go by Stacey at times.

Anywhy I wanted to know how other girls reacted about how differant you looked down there? Can you explain to me what non standard is?

I don't know how to explain why I have a scar above my clitoris or explain my SWCAH. I know that some of this is for Betsy and I hope that she can answer some of this.

Victoria I would like to email you or some how contact you if it's ok?

Betsy yes I have had issuses in my past. I was never really sure of my sexuality and always afraid of what a future partner would say about what I have or what I look like down there. I have a few girls that I'm interested in and would like to have a relationship sometime soon. I've been VERY careful on telling anyone about my CAH and this question was something that I would like help with.

Karen

Karen,

You can send me a private message on this website all you have to do is register to become a member. I would love to talk with you further about being with a woman. Please write soon!

Victoria ;)

and



Karen,

I have always found honesty to work best.

It may not be easy to talk about these things because we were always told that everything was okay when it really wasn't. But you can't expect someone not to notice; whhen they do, they will be curious...you can lie and make it easy or you can be honest and feel right about yourself.

Betsy

__________________
Until you've lost your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was or what freedom really is. --Margaret Mitchell