Teens With Bodies Like Ours

Welcome to a world filled with other teenagers that have bodies like ours!

As if the coming of age years aren't impossible enough, teenagers born with bodies like ours are faced with even more difficulties. For the average teen, fitting in can be a monumental challenge. How hard it is for a child that knows they are different to find their place. The sad truth is that our society values physical beauty and virility, and the media that teens are awash in only perpetuate the myth of physical perfection. Even the prettiest cheerleader or the handsomest athlete find faults with themselves. That is of little consolation to the child who is already shameful, filled with self doubt and uncertainty.

While the intensely personal journey to self acceptance is often just beginning for teens with bodies like ours, the idea of exposing their body, of sharing and experiencing pleasure is both feared and desired. While most teen thoughts about their own sexual coming of age experiences are exhilarating and exciting, our thoughts run on a totally different plane revolving around exposing our bodies intimately. Bodies like ours are almost like a prison in some ways. We can't get away from how we really feel about ourselves; the questions we have. Admitting to friends that we are different is simply impossible. Putting ourselves in the position of actually letting someone else see and touch our bodies is often terrifying. Making matters worse ~ if possible ~ many of us have no one to talk to about how we are feeling.

Here are some important things to remember as you venture forward in your own discovery:

No two bodies are alike! Even so called "normal" bodies have so many variations, you will be squarely in the mix, not out of it!
Inexperience works for us! Chances are your first sensual encounters will be with other inexperienced teens who won't be aware of your differences. Take some comfort in that.
Listen to your body ~ and learn from it! What feels good? What doesn't? DON'T do anything you aren't truly comfortable with.
Go slowly! You've never had the experience of sharing your body pleasurably. It can feel wonderful, but not if you're being pushed along or things are happening too fast. After many years of others' dictating what will happen to your body, YOU are finally in charge! That is an awesome responsibility that needs to be taken seriously.
Talk with your partner! Let them know what feels okay, but more importantly, what doesn't! You don't have to be explicit as to why, but you'll learn that satisfying sensual experiences happen when a partner begins to understand what brings you pleasure. They need your input! "That feels good" or "That hurts" is enough intimate information for any partner to react to.
Don't use your body to prove anything to ANYONE! Most of all, don't believe that doing so will help you feel better about yourself. "Going all the way" shouldn't be a goal to make you feel more womanly or manly. Often the most satisfying sensual sensations are about being held closely, feeling accepted, and sharing passion. Those fulfilling experiences can be erased by uncomfortable or rushed intercourse.
Learn to say, "No!", and be okay with that! Just because Suzy, Betty, Bob or John say they are "doing it" won't ever make it right for you. It may be hard for you to realize your body is your temple when it may have felt like a prison as you were growing up. Suzy, Betty, Bob and John possibly aren't telling the truth anyway, but they haven't had a body like ours or the experiences associated with it.
Peer pressure sucks! Don't be motivated by it, don't get sucked into it either. You will be ready when the time, place and feelings are right for YOU.
Use BIRTH CONTROL! Even though you've been told that getting pregnant may be impossible or difficult with a body like ours, the doctors might be wrong.

Do you have questions? Of course you do, probably a million of them that you may think no one else has. Bodies Like Ours has a special website for and about teens and young people like yourself that is run by other young people just like you. Check out Queer Bodies. You'll find a dynamic community and some really great people there.

Amazing things happen when you realize that you are a member of a unique community, not the "only one in the world" with a body like yours. We know from our own experiences how important it is for you to feel you're not alone. While your parents may be the greatest, it's also hard to talk with them about stuff like this. Feel free to ask questions of the folks behind the scenes at Queer Bodies. They are dealing with the same stuff you have to, and have been there. They've also broken the chain of secrecy and are now speaking out loud about it. All correspondence will be kept in the strictest of confidence.

To read personal stories from other teens, please visit our Teen Stories section.