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Hi there Jon, I do not wish to get involved in an argument between you and any others on here, but I will say my bit anyway.
It must be very hard to have something so fundamental hidden from you for so long. I think it would bring up plenty of feelings of betrayal and mistrust.
All I can offer is a possible explanation for why someone would choose to not speak about it. Anytime I have been in the early stages of a relationship, I have been faced with a dilemma - at any given time, do I tell or not tell? Not telling usually means that the relationship will continue, albeit with feelings of guilt and dishonesty; but it will continue. Telling means there will be a good chance that the relationship will end there and then, quite possibly with violence, and it's not possible to know which man will be violent and which won't. This possibility of violence usually means that not telling is the most appealing option at any given time.
Also, for those who transition, this can be a very stressful time and it's something that stays with you forever. It can be very tempting to try to forget about it for a bit, and live life as if it never happened. Personally I think this isn't always the best way of approaching things but it's a bit like traumatic stress, where someone will avoid thinking about anything that triggers bad memories (which your partner will likely have plenty from a few years ago).
Anyway I hope that helps and I also hope you can keep loving each other, because it's worth it's weight in gold.
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