Creating Every(wo)man

[Priestess]

Suppose that someone were writing a fiction with the intent of sneaking some subtle perspective about intersex issues into an otherwise interesting plotline, and the story isn't intended to solely revolve around intersex. Lord knows there's a lot of normal readers who could probably use some enlightenment.

If you were trying to create an intersexed every(wo)man ...

Aside from obvious things like infant surgeries and secrecy being bad, what are some other concerns that are universal enough to go beyond particular conditions?

Also, for those conditions where you might concievably get as far as your teen years without finding out something is wrong, like AIS or XXY or others, what are the worst personal/emotional reactions that have actually happened from discovering the truth?

[Kailana]

I would have to say that for me, it is the simple questions that parents seem to refuse to acknowledge. Being asked over and over if your happy, as a boy, then as a young man, just added more confusion as i became more and more aware that something really must be wrong. It seemed as though everytime i asked why i was constantly being asked if i was happy, no one, would actually tell me anything. That i believe is where my gender identity confusion really began. I mean i knew i wasnt happy. I knew i should have been a girl. I guess that sort of fits with the usual Transsexual concepts of being in the wrong body, in a way. It's just that all the medical secrecy about me and my body could of been, should of been told to me when i was a lot younger. When i found out why, at 22, It nearly destroyed me. To this day i am still wondering why it is so difficult to get straight answers. I still have questions that Parents and Doctors refuse to answer. I know from reading some of the other posts that I am not alone in this. I believe, alot of my personnal problems all have developed from simple not knowing enough about what was done. I believe, living each day with questions of who i really am casts a shadow on how I see myself. A small sense of doubt, questioning if i am only what doctors have made me into, or in another view point, i am only what doctors can make me into. This sort of goes with the transitioning status I am currently going through. The simple things people see, the body of a man, who is transitioning to woman. Wondering if people will understand and accept that i am female? I know there are many other XY/XO people who live as men, some who live as woman. Thing is , is it really the body shape, that makes a man a man or a woman a woman? Is it only what other people see and percieve me as that makes me a man or a woman? I'm really not sure where i am going with all this. I guess its hard to get the right words out. I want the world to see me as a woman. But my physique is so damn heavyset/muscular. Doubt, i guess, is what troubles me the most. Wondering, just wondering if people will understand. i hope they will, so far, the people i have met seem to understand. i just wonder though. I mean i do seem tobe alot happier, now adays, i am going back to school and all, i have desires again. The years of chronic depression are fading, i still get a little stressed out from time to time, overall though things have been alot better. i feel like im rambling now. Thanks for making me think priestess.

[Dianne]

Well of course being a "round peg" driven into a "square hole" does a lot of damage! "Body bits" don't define who we are - that come from the brain/spirit and people should accept that manifestation of individuality instead of trying to extinguish it.

[mohnblume]

Kailana, there comes the moment, when it is useless to ask questions any longer ... just do it. I am glad I came to that decision one day. I have more problems with it than I ever wished ... but there is no other way, than going forward. No way to go back into this man's life. It's not important what others think and talk about me.

Look into your heart and follow to what it tells you! It's the only way!