special consideration!??

[Kailana]

After spending way too many years in really poor counseling, (psychiatrists, Social Workers, Doctors), I really just wish the medical community would openly acknowledge just how messed up they made me. It is hard enough waking each day, questioning what i am, or if i am happy, or what i am going to do for the day. Due too neglect, lack of understanding, or caring, my experiences from the medical community, just proves, how wrong the medical community is about how i feel what they have done to me.

As a direct result of there care, i am the depressed, struggling for understanding person they have made me today. There care, there standards of care for those like me(us), there neglect, and mistreatment for us, and there unchanging attitudes about what they thought was right, and what they think is in our best interest, has been proven over and over again, Just how incorrect they were. They made us into the troubled, discouraged, ashamed, depressed, suicidal, questioning people we are now.

I would hope that in all the things that we say about any of us with an IS condition is that we are human, and should be treated as such. The LAB RAT, HUMAN GUINEA PIG mentally we are currently subjected too is inhumane. What i see in society, is that we are accepted, once we open and talk to people, when they come to understand exactly what we have had to endure, there is a great deal of acceptance. Yes, everynow and then we may meet some really bigoted idiot, But for most of us, people, the everyday people care enough about us, to accept us for who we are, rather for what Dr.s have made us into.

Perhaps, it is just the simple understanding they make about themselves, how they themselves would want to be treated by everyone else if they were also I.S. that allows them to understand me, accept me, as me.The people i meet, tend to like me, and want to talk more, ask more questions, or for clarification. Our society now, with all the different ways to communicate and get messages out, has opened many hearts and minds to accept people for who they are rather then what someone else says they are. While most people i meet, find it amazing that i am as open as i am about myself, occasionally i will meet people who will ask, " why not stay as you are now". All i really say is, the person you see before you is what Dr's have made, crafted, it is not who i am, I am at odds with what Surgeons have done, i do not accept there choices they have made, i am at a fundamental crossroad, I do not accept myself as a man, i do not accept myself as a woman, I am in fact a true hermaphrodyte, that is what i am, However, i believe, i am, identify as a woman, I am happier, I actually care more for myself as a woman than i do as a man. The little boy parts i have mean nothing, the little girl parts mean everything, that is my opinion based on my experiences, Noone else in this world can change those things, as those are all mine, and only mine.

Now then back to the idea of there being special considerations for people like us. There is supposed to be, that is the whole Idea of why there is a medical diagnosis for IS conditions, even in the DSM-4 about Gender identity dysmorphia for those with an IS condition, 302.6 i believe. However, for many of us with it, we will never ever be acknowledged to possess it, as all of our medical records have been sealed away from us, so instead, we just continue being miss treated within the medical community, becuase of how doctors think we should be treated rather then how we should be treated because we are human. Its like being a medically discriminated person, because of there standards. there belief, conflicts with ours. But they are the ones who get to make all the decisions, when we are not able to do so. And when we are able to do so, we dont have the medical records to fix the things they have done because they chose to not acknowledge what they have done, in there words for our best interests, and in fact has been proven repeatedly to not be ours.

i am sure that got a little slopppy at the end, I am sure i'll rewrite that when i can think of a better way to say it.

thanks all