Have been diagnosed with CAH, got an important question

[M-A]

Originally Posted by Patch

I suspect that my one aunt may have known about it. She's accepted me having CAH (she took it very calmly, too calmly) but got very adamant that I didn't have it as a child nor did I have any surgery.

She insists I was a "very healthy, normal child" (ignoring my childhood history of doctor's visits etc) and told me that "there's no need to go after your medical records."

When I pressed the issue, she became defensive and changed the subject.

I can totally relate to this... My mother acts exactly like this. Whenever I asked her about details of my early health, or her own health (she has her own problems), or even my brothers' she turns very defensive and refuses further discussion, even outright denying obvious issues.

Take her at face value and none of her sons have any problem. Yet one is transitionning to become a girl, another neared death several time through salt-wasting and hyperkalemia, and every single one has suffered deep depression as an adult.

I've found I can get her to still talk about that if I make the issue into a success story for her. Implicitly posit the issue as true in the first place, and instead ask about how well she dealt with all sorts of consequences of it. If you can't explore the subject directlyfrom the inside, you can still figure out details by navigating the contour of the issue.