Hello everyone,

I have gained a great deal of insight tonight. it's 5am, and I've spent all night going through this website, the forums and chasing down links. I believe I have an intersexed condition (I am in my early 30s). Parental support was non existant, and adolescence was difficult to say the least. I have lived my entire adult life away from my family with a group of very close friends. However i have never until this very moment been able to speak of my situation.

I identify as male, but i have lived my adult years basically as a eunich. I avoid any and all situations where my sexuality would come into play. However i have recently had a social experience that made me decide to look into finally dealing with my condition. I have no idea where to start. I have avoided doctors for the last 15 years, and dont even know where to start having a professional look into it. Or even if I would be able to go through with it.

But I am simply to exhuasted to carry on as I have. This is without a doubt the most difficult thing i have ever written. I would appreciate any suggestions, advice, or support.

Thank you all, just for being here and being you.

Dear Mr Brightside,

You have made a very courageous step today! Although I myself do not have an intersex condition, and therefore I am not qualified to give advice, I can say that you have found some of the most compassionate persons anywhere within this group. I'm sure they will be along shortly to help you out. I vividly recall my own dark days, and the weekend over three years ago when I finally stepped out into the sunshine.

Good luck!!

It's that first step that is always hardest. It was for me, and I suspect it was for many.

Welcome to blo.

Betsy

__________________
Until you've lost your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was or what freedom really is. --Margaret Mitchell

Welcome to Bodies Like Ours. You mentioned that you were up all night surfing the Internet for intersex information. I can definitely relate to that, and I have spent hundreds of hours surfing the Internet for intersex information. I quickly discovered that three Internet sites- Bodies Like Ours, Intersex Society of North America, and the Intersex Initiative were the most informative and helpful.
It's great that you decided to join this forum. It can be a very difficult step. You mentioned that "i have lived my adult years basically as a eunuch". Unfortunately, the term "eunuch" is not very helpful to me in trying to figure out what is going on with you. It does have a negative meaning that if a man is not having sex, then he is not really a man. I have often run into that attitude in my life. I am sure that you have too.
You mentioned that you believe that you are possibly intersex, but that you avoid doctors. I can think of three other steps that you can take. The first, if you are comfortable with it, is talk with your parents to see what they know about your possible intersex condition. The second is to try to get your medical records from the hospital where you were born. The third is to keep posting on this forum, and explore further the possibility that you are intersex. I definitely recommend this third step.

Peter

Eunuchs aren't always male, Peter (Thinking of a book on my bench, The Female Eunuch, by Germaine Greer). Good advice though.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

Welcome to BLO, Mr. Brightside!

:-)

__________________
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Keep in mind always the present you are
constructing. It should be the future you
want. ~ Ola
(Alice Walker, The Temple of My Familiar)

I have just recently made a decision to find out EVERYTHING possible about my medical history, which my mother has hidden from me, that which i have just started to uncover the truth about. it is shocking to find out the years of cover-up that have occured, and yet it is the only thing that is helping me from going crazy. like you said, "I am simply to exhuasted to carry on as I have", and i have started to initiate help. please read my stories and my posts, and you will see my whole history. send me a message if anything comes up. my thoughts are with you.

I just wanted to thank all of you for posting, and especially those that sent me your thoughts via private message. I will post again here soon. Right now i'm trying to decide exactly what it is i need to say, and how to best describe my condition.

I am still reading all your posts and stories, and one thing is for certain, am not as alone as i thought i was.

Thank you

Mr.brightside, congratulations on your first small step in a journey of seeking answers. Knowledge is a wonderful thing when you seek it.