Im laughing, SSI medical records

[Kailana]

Ok i felt like posting down here for the fun of it. New parental developement has me in giggles, oh and a little consternation.

Last week i recieved the medical records that were read on file in my SSI claim. Found out that apparently my cut/incision on my lower back right side two inches above my pelvic bone was supposedly caused by my falling out of the gourney, cutting myself when i struck the gourney frame. At least thats what the St. Mary's hospital records claim 12 July 2002. Which could in fact be true, anyways when i told my father Tuesday the 2nd of Oct that i was going to get a lawyer he went and did a foolish thing. While i was gone later that same day, appointment at 3:00pm with my social worker he at least i assume it was him, replaced my records, with another set, which actually made me happy.
1st. A few pages fromthe ones i was sent were missing a few pages. So this just saved me a trip to social security office requesting copies.

2nd. I had allready made 10 copies of that page and a few other pages that i felt were important and hidden them around my house. I still have all of those. Thats why i am laughing.

Basically, he saved me a trip and a wait for the missing pages. As for falling off the gourney, well if true is medical neglect, and is sueable. If not true, which ill find out later anyways, I really do love Seattle, a lot less bigotry then Walla Walla. I'll be getting a lot of repeat testing, and really have some evidence for medical malpractice. So either way i am actually amusingly happy. As for the consternation, well, i am still dumbfounded by how my parents behave. It's not as though the rest of my family is ashamed of me, just my parents. Uncles and Aunts, both surving grandparents are fine with me. They are fairly accepting and some of them quite loving towards me. But my parents, i don't know, it's like there stuck in a state of denial. I have often thought of trying to forgive them, but honestly, its not going to happen.
At least not anytime soon. So here i am 1 year 8 months on HRT, finally recognised in a federal court as an intersexed person, although they did use some unusual words to explain what i am, Example

the Claimant has the following severe impairments: gender identity disorder with psychosis, and delusional disorder related to gender identity issues

"Dr. *********, one of the medical experts at the claiments hearing testified that the claimant had a genetic disorder with complications, that equalled listing 10.06 under multiple body systems, specifically, in this case, 10.00 (C) which denotes other Chromosomal abnormalities that produce a pattern of multiple impairments etc..."

okay, not perfect, but for me will suffice, i was hoping that the judges ruling would state a bit more on my anatomy, you know my ovaries, juvenile uterus that were read into the hearing from my military records, June 93. The multiple body systems though i think should suffice for now, as i am sure even my doctors are gonna be confused with that discription of me. The judgement didnt say i was intersexed, which really would of been great, still this does help me a great deal, As for the words used, like disorder, well i think we are informed enough to understand thats fairly common terminology for those of us(meaning IS individuals) that i hope people understand why i am not upset with its usage. And as for the previous Delussional Gender Identity Disorder that has plagued me for the last 7 years, well okay im still delusional but they worded that oddly too, Example

Dr. ********* the other medical expert at the hearing, opinioned "I am not a good match for delusional or psychotic disorders, but that the combination of his(my) difficulties , equaled in severity the criteria for listing 12.08 for personality disorders. Listing 12.08 for personality disorders denotes inflexible and maladaptive traits that cause either significant impairment in social and occupational functioning or subjective distress. etc..."

hmm, thinking here, again not so perfect, but then finding out oneself is intersexed in 1993, and continously ignored by parents and the local medical community for 14+ years would probably tend to do that to other people too. and yes there is alot more but its well just diagnosis of my deeply ingrained, maladaptive patterns of thought, with oddities of thought, perception, and behavior. <----- new classification i think for an intersexed M/F true hermaphrodite transitioning female, LOL. umm i think im gonna say that its the subjective distress, from that last part that affects me, an just ignore the other parts, even though those are probably true too.

ok, ok, so my bones are deformed, my anatomy is a little different, ive been mentally and physically traumatized over and over, and theres plenty of evidence of that, now as too whether or not surgery in 2002 took place, thats my next goal, And that wont be so hard to do, i just wont do it here in Walla Walla, WA.
For now i think im ok, yes i am troubled with how my life took a few hard turns, and yes family acceptance isn't all there, still, im happy, or at least happier then i have been in along time.

ok, as i really dont have last thoughts, or summaries at the end of my long speils of godlygook, here goes my closing thoughts. Should i be upset with the words the judge used in his findings of fact and conclusions of law?
i mean, it doesnt really bother me all that much, with the words used, theres enough in there to really get/make people think about what is actually said, specially the multiple body systems, or the not actually fitting a delusional diagnosis, i mean it, reading everything, i think its fairly understandable how one would cause the other, meaning, i am not making things up, theres at least an actual reason, ie, genetics, anatomy that has a huge impact on my identity , ie intersexed phenotypical male, with a female gender identity, who is transitioning female. in the hearing, it was recorded i am XY/XO, bilateral ovaries, uterus(should of been juvenile uterus at least thats what i remember being told in 93), So i am wondering, should i appeal this decision, or just let things slide, after all, i am getting desperately needed assistance, and back payment from when i filed, which i will be using for further testing, as honestly i still have things that fit a chimeric diagnosis then xy/xo mosaic. I really do hope some of you respond. Im really quite curious what others think of what was said, and yeah id love to post everything thats in the facts and findings but theres a lot of junk really, everything thats important to me i quoted, the rest is really about requirements for meeting diagnosis and what not.