When my doc recently gave me full slew of tests for hormone levels it came back that I have normal level of estrogen, slightly lower level of progesterone and testosterone level of a 12 yr old male. The nurse said oh that is much too high of T for a normal female, all the while knowing I am IS and not a "normal" female. I have always been able to tell when my estrogen was strongest and in control of my body. I get grumpy, depressed to the point of suicidal and have a lower libido. My doctor has already told me that my brain was virilized as embryo, so it was no wonder I feel more male. She also said since I have live with this high T level all my life she would not even attempt to lower it because she said it would cause me mental harm.

I discussed with her how my whole personality changes when the estrogen is at its highest. She said she would give me testosterone drops to take during those times, but I was never prescribed them. The past three weeks I seem to be going through hotflashes. I called the nurse and they wanted to see new test results before they would give the T, but she told me most likely I would be given estrogen instead if I was going through perimenopause. The nurse recently called back to say the test results were normal, same as I had before so they don't believe I was going through hot flashes. Meanwhile I have no libido, rarely get an erection and lose it after a like a minute if I do get one. I feel estrogen is like poison in my body. I want T so I can feel normal again, that is normal for me, not normal for a normal woman. I feel maybe a little progesterone might help too.

How can I get the doctor to understand my feelings? The male side of me is angry and the female side wants to cry because I am being denied what little pleasure I used to receive from my organs. I am also sad all the time now. Friends are commenting on how my mood has changed. I tried to discuss these feelings with a friend who has CAH and also goes to this doctor. She suddenly turned on me saying I was just another trannie wanting SRS. She told me to see a psychiatrist so I could get SRS. I told her I didnt want SRS; I just want a small dose of T to take as needed. My friend has always hated CAH being labeled pseudo-hermaphrodite thus resents seeing the term true herm. I told her the doctor had determine I was true herm, yet now she says I'm not a "REAL" IS and that I was being disrespectful to the doctor for wanting T. She hasn't wanted to talk with me since.

Any suggestions what magic words I need to say so the doc will give me T?

Angela

if your doctor isn't listening, often the best strategy is to find another doctor...is that possible?

Glenn

I don't know of any other docs who are IS friendly. Its a rare thing to even have this doctor in such a small desert town. There are no endos for like 300 miles. All of those endos are male and my insurance will not pay for endo anyway. So I'm not going to them. This doc I am seeing is considered one of the foremost experts on hormonal imbalances, though is not an endo. I admit I am a difficult case for her as I am her only true hermaphrodite patient-ever. She has treated almost 50 IS - all of which were CAH, except for one XXY and now me. There's not any medical documentation for her to follow to treat me as most IS with mixed gonads usually get their testes removed as an infant or small child and later receiving HRT treatment as if they were a female.

Angela

Hi Angela
First of all im not a Doc or anything but id advise talking to your doctor some more and ask again. That is for the testosterone supplement, that you feel you need. I often feel that my doctors just dont listen. and it takes them awhile to understand what i am trying to say. So ask again. and keep asking. And stay with the Doc you have. You mentioned that you are the only true herm that she is treating. It May take a little bit for her too understand that you are a unique individual and are different then her other patients. I'd even go so far as to tell her that" you are different then her other patients" and expect to be treated differently. I'd would recommend talking to a psychiatrist too. Not for SRS, but for the depression. Depression can get you down in the dumps and sometimes you/I/me/we need a little help getting out of it. hope this helps Rudy A. Alaniz

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