In the beginning God made the heavens. But the heavens needed some people so God looked down and said he needed people. So God created the Earth. Earth was dark, a void, without form. Pure darkness was on the face of the deep.

Satan said," Yea!"" It doesn't get better than this"

God said, "Let there be light!" and there was light.
God said, "Let there be sun, fresh air, grass and herb".
God said, "Let there be yeilding seeds of joy, may the fruit tree yeild fruit."

Satan said, "Oh shit! There go's the neighborhood!"

So God created Man and woman in his image.
God said, "Let them have all power, all dominion over the fowl,
cattle, the air, and the sea. In fact, let man have all power over
life, death and every creeping creature that will ever creep on
earth. Let him have hands to work hard, and stay fit, and be thankfull for his body and stay alive and active as long as possable to prepare him for my wonderfull heaven."

So God looked down, and saw man and woman earning a honest living, working togeather and staying healthy and happy, and lean and trim. And all was good.

And Satan said "I know how to get back in the game"


Satan made people work without health insurance, because it cost to much for them. So God made free health care so the hard working could get better, and find better jobs.
When they did get sick, Satan made long hours and not enough pay, so people would get sick of there jobs, get lazy and not stay in shape!
God said, "Let there be many jobs to choose from, so that man and woman can be happy working. Let jobs offer heath insurance and let there be jyms so man and woman can work out and stay fit.

Seeing what the devil was up to, God said," Let all the people of the world eat foods that will make them healthy and glad to be alive."
So God populated the world with fish, fresh broccoli, cauliflower,
milk, orange juice, spinach, and fresh peppers and greens of all
shape and sizes so that man and woman would live longer lives.

So Satan said, "Two can play this game!" And he created McDonalds, Taco bell, And the 99 cent cheeseburger, and the 69 cent taco. Satan said to man "Do you want a large fry and a coke with that?" Man said to Satan, "Yes and supersize it!"

And Man's blood got thick with grease and fat and he gained 15 pounds. now the weight made him tired and he no longer wanted to stay in shape or work a good job.

God created yogurt, so woman could keep their shape and look good. This is something that woman needed to do to stay happy with her man.

And so Satan created fudge and chocolate, and woman gained 20 pounds and man stopped having sex with woman, and being interested in her.
Then the woman wanted a divorce.

Satan said, YEA!!!

God said, "try my crispy salad, and stop fighting with each other!"

And so Satan created ice cream, and both man and woman got fatter and fought more often.

And then God said, "I am sending you three heart-heathy vegetables and some olive oil to cook then in so they will taste good."

So Satan created fried fish, fried clams, chicken fried steak and
all kinds of red meat and beer, and man's cholesterol went though the roof, and his back started hurting, and his heart was getting very tired from lack of real exercice.

God begged Man to take care of himself, and told him to look in
the mirror before it is to late. He also gave man running shoes,
And man said he would run to take better care of himself so he would be there to see his children grow up.

Satan laughed and said "To hell with you God!"
He then brought forth, Free food delivery, and cable TV with remote contol so Man would not have to move from his seat to change the channels between ESPN and ESPN2. Man gained another 20 pounds and got hurt on the job and now is out on disability.

God said, "Your running up the score Satan! give me a chance to come back!"

So god gave Man the potato. A healthy food, low in fat and brimming with nutrition, and said "Please take the hint!"

So Man swilled his beer, pulled off the healthy skin off the potato,
sliced the starchy center into strips and deep-fat fried them and
put tons of salt on them while dipping them into sour cream dip.
As he sat there with his remote control eyes glued to the tv, his
heart and veins thick with fat and grease strained heavy under the cholesterol.

Satan said, "This is good." And man went into cardic arrest.

With his heart dieing Man begged God,"Please Help me!!"

God shook his head and sighed, and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Satan then said "Checkmate" And created HMO'S.

The end.

__________________
You really have to love yourself, to get anything done in this world!

Julanne

That was cute. I like it.

Andi